When I was in college, I dated a guy that had come up with a philosophy about marriage. It was that in life all of us will have two spouses: the first gets us to where we want to be in life and the second helps us enjoy it. In essence, he believed that we would all be divorced at least once. He also believed that waiting until you were 30 to get married negated this theory and that was his intention. As a co-ed I was miffed that these suggestions. As an adult, I believe them to be true. Here’s why.
Besides my own experience, I have numerous friends who married in their 20s only to grow up and away from their spouse. Upon divorcing, they met people who completed the person they had become. And in most cases, they are truly happy now. Their first spouse allowed them to reach the heights and the goals they wanted to, usually professionally, but somewhere in the journey they lost track of them being a couple. And here is my Carrie Bradshaw moment: In our 20s, do we choose a spouse that can help us get what we want? I like to think not. Especially since I also know couples who married in their early 20s who are still together.
But the couples that I know who were smart and waited to marry until after they were 30, after they knew who they were, or after they had achieved some sort of financial individuality, those are the ones who appear to appreciate each other and their lives together. This included that ex-boyfriend.
Through my eyes, either way you could end up with the happily ever after and isn’t that what we all want?