Carrie Bradshaw utters these words about Big and her plans not to have children multiple times in the new Sex in the City 2 movie. It’s a sentiment I applaud.
I believe that as women we’re expected to have children and when we don’t want to fulfill this biological responsibility, we are seen as strange. Call it a symptom of my circumstances, but being a mom wasn’t what I wanted once upon a time. Eventually, that changed. And now that I have had one, people expect that I’ll have another. (Sorry, this uterus is closed.)
Unfortunately, responding truthfully isn’t enough. People (strangers and non-strangers alike) must question your decision to procreate and try to poke around your psyche. Why? Why doesn’t she want children? Let’s agree, it’s intrusive and it’s rude.
My hope this weekend is that Bradshaw’s honest answer to “Why aren’t you have kids?” will stop the prying and seemingly judgmental questions. And it may. A recent Maternal and Child Health Journal study out of the University of Nebraska at Lincoln found that women’s attitude about getting pregnant is laxing.
In a study of 4,000 sexually-active women, about 71 percent said they were not trying to get pregnant, while 6 percent said they were. But nearly one in four, 23 percent, told researchers they were “OK either way” – they were neither trying to conceive, nor preventing a pregnancy. Among the non-mommies, 60 percent said they were trying not to get pregnant, 14 percent were trying to get pregnant and 26 percent responded that they were leaving it up to fate. Could this attitude-adjustment stop the baby interrogations?
Hopefully. Parenting is tough enough and shouldn’t be entered because it is the thing to do. Good for her and Big to realize that.
I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have you been brow-beaten for your decision to not have a child or children? How did you handle it? I promise not to question your decision.
As the mother of a toddler, I’m happy when Baby A puts aside the bottle of milk and eats real food. I started out as most mothers, wanting my son’s diet to consist of mainly fruits, vegetables, whole grains and lean meats. Considering that his favorite foods are artichokes, Brussels sprouts and whole-grain toast I really can’t complain. The problem is when he doesn’t eat, which is lately.
Today he fell asleep in the car right before reaching our building so I decided to take him for a drive to In and Out Burger. He could nap and we could get some lunch and satisfy my burger craving. I used to be a vegetarian but after becoming severely anemic I decided that having meat every once in awhile was better than what iron supplementation would do to my already sensitive digestive system. That’s why once a month or so I usually have a hamburger. Since Baby A usually eats the French fries, we’d both win—so I thought.
Once we got our order, I cooled down some fries and gave them to him then took out my burger (a plain cheeseburger with grilled onions). He ate the three fries then pointed at my sandwich. I gave it to him and he ate nearly the whole thing on the way home. Sure, my son could be eating better but he hasn’t been eating until today. Of course, I wish my son would gobble up the berries on cut up for breakfast and share my salad with me, but right now I want him to eat something more than whole milk and whole grain toast. If that means he partakes in my hamburger fix every once in awhile then so be it.
We have been lucky enough to have M.’s dad stay with us. He’s fabulous with Baby A. And in addition, he generous of his time, which allows me to get some work done. He also goes to bed early.
We live in a two-bedroom apartment and so our guest room is our living room. When grandpa goes to bed, M., Moo, Pumpkin and I retreat to the master bedroom. (A is sleeping in his room, of course.) While M. misses the DVR and television (only one, located in living/guest room), I enjoy times like right now. M. is reading, I’m writing and we are surrounded by cuddling kitties. Not a bad way to end the first day of the week.
When it came to Twitter, I was the first to scoff. Why on earth would anyone want to know what I am doing? But eventually as I blogged less frequently, I found that tweets linked to this blog allowed me to be short and sweet. My life still isn’t exciting but it’s the following that I love.
Without social media sites like Twitter and Facebook, I wouldn’t know about the immigration protest at the Federal Building near my house today. I wouldn’t necessarily know where to donate my haircut clippings to clean up the oil spill in the Gulf. I wouldn’t know the goings-on of friends from high school and college. And I know when my favorite blogs have new postings. It’s these bite-size bits of knowledge that allow me to not retreat in a cocoon of Baby A, M., kitties and email. (So easy to do.)
The bottom line: before you knock it, try it. From one convert, this may streamline your information feed and at the end of the day, don’t we all want things to be easier.
Years ago I read “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.” My book group and I were amazed and in disbelief that a pair of pants could make each of the four girls look amazing. I now believe that there is such a magical pair of pants…
It was too quiet in my friend ML’s house. After spending two days in Manhattan, the silence of her neighborhood was almost unsettling. I needed to hear conversations, music…many things at one time. I needed to find a Starbucks.
Luckily, there is one close to her house even though I took the long way to get there. Any coffee house would have done, but when I go into Starbucks it is familiar with electrical outlets, music, and food. Just like going to an office…anywhere you are.
I have a dream that every city had fruit and vegetable carts on every corner. Well, every other corner would do. Right now, I’m living in it.
As I rush from appointment to appointment in New York, carts of fruits and vegetables nourish me— basket of blueberries sold for $2 and a pear for 25 cents. Yesterday was the first time in a long while that I ate my seven servings of fruits and vegetable without strategic planning.
By having these purveyors out on the street where traffic is flowing makes it easy to associate whole foods with satisfying the hunger that is occurring. And those hunger pangs aren’t the crazy, ravenous kind either since noshing on these natural fibrous fillers has kept my blood sugar steady.
Imagine a world where each city had the same availability of fruits and vegetables. My hope that it would mean a healthier population.