Carrie Bradshaw utters these words about Big and her plans not to have children multiple times in the new Sex in the City 2 movie. It’s a sentiment I applaud.
I believe that as women we’re expected to have children and when we don’t want to fulfill this biological responsibility, we are seen as strange. Call it a symptom of my circumstances, but being a mom wasn’t what I wanted once upon a time. Eventually, that changed. And now that I have had one, people expect that I’ll have another. (Sorry, this uterus is closed.)
Unfortunately, responding truthfully isn’t enough. People (strangers and non-strangers alike) must question your decision to procreate and try to poke around your psyche. Why? Why doesn’t she want children? Let’s agree, it’s intrusive and it’s rude.
My hope this weekend is that Bradshaw’s honest answer to “Why aren’t you have kids?” will stop the prying and seemingly judgmental questions. And it may. A recent Maternal and Child Health Journal study out of the University of Nebraska at Lincoln found that women’s attitude about getting pregnant is laxing.
In a study of 4,000 sexually-active women, about 71 percent said they were not trying to get pregnant, while 6 percent said they were. But nearly one in four, 23 percent, told researchers they were “OK either way” – they were neither trying to conceive, nor preventing a pregnancy. Among the non-mommies, 60 percent said they were trying not to get pregnant, 14 percent were trying to get pregnant and 26 percent responded that they were leaving it up to fate. Could this attitude-adjustment stop the baby interrogations?
Hopefully. Parenting is tough enough and shouldn’t be entered because it is the thing to do. Good for her and Big to realize that.
I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have you been brow-beaten for your decision to not have a child or children? How did you handle it? I promise not to question your decision.